Thursday, November 8, 2012

How to save a boatload of money on baby stuff

It's easy to get discounted big-ticket items like furniture and car seats, but it's the little costs adding up that really bite you in the booty. Baby wash, wipes, and diapers are things that constantly need to be replaced. And if you use a special laundry detergent for those precious tiny baby clothes...it all adds up. Add formula and jar baby food to that, and whoo boy!

So here are some tips for saving money, categorized by level of commitment/convenience and all costs are over 2 years with 1 baby. Obviously, certain of these aren't used the full 2 years and I've accounted for that.

Baby wash
Est. cost : (@$5/bottle and using a bottle every 3 months for 2 years) $40
Easy money saver: Dilute it and put it in a foaming dispenser. Use Subscribe and Save from Amazon or cut coupons to save quite a lot!
Big time money saver: A big bottle of Dr. Bronner's Castille Soap and dilute it by half. You can add essential oils to get your favorite baby smell (lavender or chamomile would be great!)

Wipes

Est. cost : (I took the average of $3-600/yr depending on many factors)
Easy money saver: Cloth! $22 for 30 washable wipes on Amazon. You can moisten them with water or add coconut oil to the water to moisturize and wipe at the same time!
Big time money saver: Make your own cloth wipes or even disposables. There are tips and recipes for pretty much any of this if you do a search and try what appeals to you.


Diapers

Est. cost: $2,000 (GASP!)
Easy money saver: Couponing! I've seen oodles of deals that cut big time bucks off of diaper costs.
Big time money saver: Cloth diapering! You can ask for the brand/style you want at your baby shower/s and potentially have no up-front cost! You can also make your own detergent for them and save on the laundry component as well. If you're at home part time and on the go a lot, you can use cloth at home and sposies when out and about.


Detergent

Est. cost : Hard to say, but it's $2/box more expensive at my local Walmart than equivalent-sized Tide.
Easy money saver: Use your own regular detergent and skip the Dreft altogether.
Big time money saver: Make it yourself! All the ingredients can be found at Walmart. There are recipes online for liquid or powdered. You can also do this for cloth diaper detergent,


Formula

Est. cost : http://kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-prep/bfcostbenefits/#formulacosts Estimate your cost here, but think somewhere in the $1500 range
Easy money saver: There are tons of coupons out there for this stuff. Also, part-time breastfeeding/pumping if you can will cut costs majorly and provide superior nutrition for the baby.
Big time money saver: Breastfeed exclusively and pump ahead for times you'll be traveling. This can also potentially save you a ton of money in healthcare costs, as breast milk contains oodles of antibodies to help the infant immune system along.


Jar baby food/cereal

Est. cost : Hard to say, but here's an interesting DIY versus purchased detailed comparison: http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/cost.htm#.UJwcH-TLQyg
Easy money saver: Use a food processor to blend steamed veggies at least once a week. Mash banana and avocados as snacks. Skip cereals, they're not the best starter foods anyway.
Big time money saver: Make it all from scratch. Freeze in ice cube trays, eat mostly fresh, can in 1,2 pint jelly jars, and pack refilled baby food jars for on-the-go.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Raiden's Birth Story

There are two impressions that the birth of our son has left upon me. The first is that I have been hemmed in on every side with support. Family, friends, and God have all been surrounding me during this time and lifting me up to be able to do what I could never have done alone. The second is that I am most definitely not in control-of my destiny, these events, or my own child.


At my 38 week check-up, I waived the internal exam for the second week in a row, telling the OB that I hadn’t had any pre-labor symptoms that would lead me to think I’d dilated. No Braxton Hicks aside from three little ones one night, no mucous changes, no nothing.

Two days later, I awoke in the morning with the feeling that I’d just started my period. I was cramping mildly and I had a bit of blood on the toilet paper. I called the midwife on duty, who said that I should keep an eye on it and call if I soaked a pad. I called that afternoon and updated her, but took the show for my mucous plug and hoped I still had a few weeks before delivery.

My parents were on their way to visit and bring baby furniture as we moved in to our new apartment. The moving process had been arduous, but we had made great headway and I focused on getting the place ready for my parents’ arrival. I kept having mild cramps, but they weren’t bad—less intense in frequency and duration than period cramps.

My parents came, unloaded the car, and we went to Dalton for some Iron Gate pizza. We had a marvelous time and fantastic meal, enjoying every bite and every moment. We returned, exhausted, and made sleeping arrangements for the evening. Because of David’s 3rd shift sleep schedule, he’d be on the couch, I’d sleep in our bed with Mom, and Dad would have the guest bed. I chatted with Mom as we settled in, then both of us drifted off.

At about 2AM, I had about 5 harder, more painful cramps in a row, about 4 minutes apart. I realized that I would not be sleeping well that night, so I relocated to the living room to join David as he played Skyrim. I curled up on the couch next to him with a sleeping bag and a trash can for vomiting, which I used several times. We spent the night with David helping me through contractions, timing the contractions when we could, and me sleeping between contractions as best I could.

By 8 the next morning, September 22, I realized that I hadn’t felt Raiden move for several hours. I called the midwife, Vikki, and she said to come in and be checked. Mary, an elderly lady, checked us in and remarked that “you haven’t dropped yet, are you contracting, sweetie?” I’d had 4 or 5 contractions while she was checking us in!

Raiden’s heartbeat came in strong and regular on the monitor, and so did my contractions. Vikki’s check revealed that I was a solid 4 cm. dilated and 90% effaced, much to my surprise. I was admitted to labor and delivery, and we called my mom to make the short drive up to the hospital.

Much of the rest seemed to happen in a blur. I’m not sure what “method” I wound up using, but it worked like this: deep breath as the contraction began, focus on focal point, count in and out in slow sixes and relax through the contraction. After some practice, I was able to knock myself out in between contractions and sleep until the next one began to rise in intensity. My mom would call out what the contraction was doing on the monitor and encourage me that it would be short.

Because I chose to “go natural” and avoid pain medication, I was allowed to go off of the monitor for a little while and enjoy soaking in the whirlpool tub, walking around the hall and room, and laboring in a rocking chair. I did have to have an IV for several things, but they gave me a saline lock so that I could be more mobile in between fluids.

The checks throughout the day revealed that I was progressing, but very slowly. Vikki worried some when I got “stuck” at 7cm for a couple of checks, and suggested a “whiff” of Pitocin to get things going after a few other things failed to move my stubborn cervix. She didn’t want me to get to the end and have no energy for the final pushing. I accepted the “go juice” and waited for everything to get strong and hard.

It didn’t. In fact, I barely noticed much difference at all in the contractions. They were maybe a tiny bit stronger, but much less so than I expected. I was getting the minimum dose, so I only noticed that my contractions were a little more hard-working and, thank heaven, a LOT shorter. Nothing about Pit should do that, to my knowledge, but my contractions were about 1 ½ minutes apart and about 30 seconds long.

They progressed in strength until, while rocking in the rocking chair at about midnight, I started feeling antsy, like I needed to use the restroom. I went, but there was nothing there. I knew then that the pushing stage was almost upon me. I waited a few more contractions until the urge was strong enough that it was interfering with my breathing and focusing. I felt better bearing down than relaxing, so I cheated a little when my coaches weren’t looking and breathed through my teeth while exerting mild pressure on my abdomen.

Vikki checked, and I was 10 cm all around except for a 9.5 at the top. She said I had a bit of a double bag that was covering the opening, so she moved it out of the way and called for the pushing preparations to begin. I asked for a squat bar and the nurse set one up for me. During this time, my brother, Chris, whose name Raiden got for a middle name, called and prayed for me over the phone. My mom, Bailee, and David were with me and got me positioned to push.

Vikki showed me a reclined position and suggested I try that one for a couple of contractions. On the first try, I moved the baby lower, but the other two didn’t accomplish much. I scooted into the squat position to give that one a try. The first one, my feet nearly slipped out from under me on the absorbent pad. We moved the pad and I gave it a serious effort. I could tell the difference, and so could Vikki. A couple more pushes and we had the beginning of a crown—time to move the feet out of the way and give birth.

Crowning hurt like nothing had—the other was muscle pain, this was sharp and intense. “Burn” is the word used to describe it, but it’s the burn of a tremendous stretch and was only alleviated by pushing more, even putting pressure on it in between contractions seemed to help. It was over in a minute, followed by Vikki calling out that we had a head, that I should stop pushing. “Too late,” she said a second later, “we have a baby!” I could hardly hear her over the upset voice of my newly born son, who was dried off and placed on my belly for me to meet! I hadn’t even been pushing a full half-hour, but my legs were trembling from the exertion. It was 1:04 AM on Sunday, September 23, 2012.

Raiden squawked for a little while, sitting on my belly and scooting around while we waited for the placenta and while David cut the cord. The little fella played at nursing some, then after a few minutes, I handed him off for the weight and other welcome party events. I required a considerable number of stitches for my 3rd-degree tear, which I had incurred when Raiden popped out all at once, and with his fist in the air. Go, baby. I’m thinking the timing of that rock fist could have been a tad bit better, but it made a great opening statement for a new life greeting the world with his fist held high.

After the stitching, chatting with the medical personnel, introductions to the grandparents, and all the congratulations and pictures, the tired visitors headed home and my mom left us with the makings of a tea party she had packed as a post-labor surprise. David prepared each of us a cup of tea, and we enjoyed sipping it while holding the tiny boy. He was truly beautiful—the spitting image of his father.

 I don’t normally think that newborns are pretty. They are usually swollen, misshapen, purple, and splotchy. Raiden was none of those things. He had soft, brown hair, a slightly dark complexion (at least compared to his pasty parents), and was long, lean, and expressive. As much as he favors his father in looks, he favors his mother in personality. Both of us were content babies, but I was the snuggler, and he definitely kept that trait going. He loves to be warm and close to a body.

There were things I “knew” that I had accepted would be true about this little boy—that he would be a blessing, that I would love him, and that every bit of discomfort, every sleepless night, every frustration, all the work, and all the cost would be worth it. I had no idea why, and I really didn’t feel any of these things until I spent time building the relationship with him. All of those statements are true and I feel their impact now, though a few weeks ago, I’d have thought, “yes, I know it will be, but I just don’t see it now.”

So, welcome, little Raiden Christopher. All 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and 21 inches of you. We accept you with love.
For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Monday, July 23, 2012

Well, That Was Easy...

I must admit, I was a little miffed when I read that I had to select a pediatrician in order to pre-register at the hospital for Raiden's birth. One more hassle to go through, and (more annoyingly), one I hadn't thought of or researched yet! I spoke with one of the doctors at the Women's Center, and he listed several that were all excellent recommendation. The options seemed staggering.

Thankfully, a friend from church recommended one of the same ones, and she mentioned that he was  supportive of some of the more "crunchy" (natural) choices she was making with her kids. Those who know me know that I crunch like a mouth full of organic gravel, so I determined to check out who I remembered as "the doctor with the Zs." (Azzouz)

My husband and I went together after he picked me up from my OB appointment (all's well!) and we went to Bright Pediatrics for the consultation. After we were finished, I was happy to not only check off another preparation item, but also to know that we have a very capable pediatrician available who doesn't run at the first sign of crunching! :)

I was happy to see that he asked us several questions and gave some advice to help support us as we went along. I was also very happy with the answers he gave, which I have paraphrased (to the best of my preggo brain memory, so don't consider these to be direct quotes in any way) here. If anyone wants to use these questions when they interview potential pediatricians, feel free to do so!


Q: For the office: What types of insurance do you accept?
A: Medicaid, PeachCare, BCBS TN BlueCare, and other community providers

Q: What is your policy on immunizations? I'm hoping to delay/selectively vaccinate.
A: Vaccination is great and I recommend it. However, I respect your decisions and we will work out a vaccination schedule that works for you.

Q: What is the 1st year visit schedule?
A: Hospital visit in first two days, follow up in 4-7 days in the office, then 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, and 12 months.

Q: What standard do you use to measure weight gain?
A: We base off of the AAP, though each baby needs to stay consistent with his own gain curve.

Q: What are some symptoms that I should definitely call about?
A: In the first two months: fever of 100.5 and up, hacking cough, diarrhea, and vomiting.

Q: What are some symptoms that freak people out but usually aren't serious?
A: We get a lot of calls for low grade fever and stuffy nose. The fever, after two months, usually is treatable with children's Tylenol, but call if it persists or gets too high for your comfort. Do not give young kids sinus medicine except for saline spray to alleviate congestion. 

Observations:
Does the office seem clean/orderly? (yes, and there was plenty of seating and it was busy, but not crowded)
Were you seen in a timely fashion? (yes, considering it was a Monday right before lunch!)
Does the doctor like kids? (yes, he had four of his own and was very proud of them!)




How about you guys? What are some questions you have or would ask a potential pediatrician?

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's the Third Trimester!!!

Here I sit at 27 1/2 weeks and I must confess, I'm alternating between restlessness and downright panic in this odd cycle where very little makes sense.  Oddly enough, it's all normal--the aches, the appetite rearing its head at strange hours, and being walloped in the gut for bending over or getting stressed.

A few things I've noticed:
The most comfortable seating is not a La-z-boy recliner, it's an exercise ball. A few minutes of bouncing and lounging around, and back pain all but vanishes, like magic.

An evening spent lying on top of (or having one on top of me) a rice heating pad is better than a spa day. It's relaxing and glorious.

Top Gear is a fantastic series. It's funny, has RIDICULOUS camera work (especially for a car show!), and makes clever observations about the world in general, all while test driving very cool-looking cars. I'd love to see an episode on mommy vans.

Not having a nursery while going through nesting is a pain. I'll stop there on that one.

"Advice" has a strange meaning now. I wish I'd kept a list of things people have told me to expect. In fact, here's a breakdown of a few things I expected (whether because I read it or was advised) and how they've turned out so far. I have 11 1/2 weeks to go, so there's still time...

Some typical symptoms I've mysteriously avoided so far:

Cravings: I had preferences and one short-lived aversion, but nothing I HAD to have.
Violent mood swings: There have been evenings where I've been sad and upset. I have been grumpy at times. But it has been nothing worse than PMS symptoms.
Horrible nausea: I have 10 minutes of nausea followed by tossing my cookies if I have
     A. Not had enough sleep,
     B. Eaten horribly, or
     C. Worked nonstop for 3+ hours in the garden in the heat.
Hemorrhoids/UTIs/yeast infections: I technically had one UTI before I knew I was pregnant. I've never had the other two.
Constipation: One sandwich made with fiber-full bread or a breakfast of bran, oatmeal, or French toast, and all is right. I try to include fiber-rich foods every other day or so, just to make sure it all stays in motion.
Braxton Hicks Contractions: Nope, that was just gas. Nope, he just walloped me. No BHCs.
Hot Flashes/Staying too hot: People said I'd be miserable in the summer. I still wear a jacket to church.
Swelling: My OB grabbed me by the foot a few weeks ago and exclaimed, "You still have ankles!!!!" Yes, yes, sir, that I do. I have ankles. Thank you for pointing that out.

Some symptoms of which I've had plenty:

Hunger: I've rarely been ready to cook an entire 5-course meal at 11:30 at night before. Now that I can't, I want to sooo badly.
Back aches: I'm going to a chiropractor to help get my spine and pelvis in order for labor. Thankfully, the discomfort is manageable, though it's not a picnic.
Dislike of noise and stress in environment: Good grief, I hate weekends. There is a lot of noise in my environment, and the more people are off work, the worse it gets. Independence Day was ungodly, and it had nothing to do with fireworks. I'm seriously considering putting up a hammock in the storage building.

Really, honestly, it hasn't been awful. Every time I try to think of more symptoms I've had, I have to add another to the list of things that haven't described this pregnancy.

Anyway, I'm starting to delete more than I'm keeping, so I think it's time to go organize some stuff.




Friday, June 15, 2012

Guilty of Contempt


A friend of mine posted this link in our mommy group a few minutes ago: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/06/13/dont-just-wait-until-theyre-teenagers/

The following excerpt is from this article. While I don't agree with everything in it, this particular paragraph on behavior modeling really toasted my proverbial poptart: 

Civil children come from civil environments. Many parents feel free to speak to their children with a level of incivility they would not use with anyone else they know. They bark orders. They raise their voices. They use sarcasm and contempt: "Seriously? That's how you cleaned your room?" They poison civil language with contemptuous tone: "Ryan, please put your shoes on." They patronize. They roll their eyes and sigh. They construct a cocktail of word choice, tone, and body language that they would not serve to a co-worker, friend, or stranger on the street. And then they serve it liberally to an under-aged consumer, the smallest neighbor they are called to love preferentially: their own child. Yet they are shocked to end up with an adolescent fluent in the language of contempt.

Yikes.

Now, I know some homes where husband and wife scream and yell at each other constantly. Some people were raised in an environment where this is the way conflict was handled. It bothers me. It seriously bothers me. I refuse to model that example to my son. Thankfully, screaming and yelling was rarely part of my childhood, so while I have little tolerance for it, I also have little example of it, either. So far in our two years of marriage, David and I have never raised our voices against each other.

But that's not what this article is talking about, though the opening began with that.

The reason this paragraph stood out to me is that I picked up on something much more subtle that was modeled to me, and something that I still struggle with as of last night at 2 in the morning. It's passive-aggressive anger. It's choosing to be darkly silent and cold toward those who have displeased you. You know Jenny's really upset when she's utterly quiet and clinically precise with her tone and mannerisms.

I have been blessed with an incredible husband who has helped me greatly on this by taking the high road and calling me out. He can tell that something's wrong and he'll kindly ask for me to open up to him. When I talk to him and express myself, I make myself vulnerable to that anger, but in an environment where there is love and understanding available to draw me closer, whereas before there was loneliness and bitterness embracing me as I secluded myself to brood.

The uncivil body and verbal language being described here is me to a T. "Seriously?" is one of my favorite unhappy words. Sarcasm easily transitions from being jovial and gentle to stabbing and biting. Closed-off body language is the most infuriating thing my husband can experience from me: "you don't find me worthy in those moments to share what you're feeling."

What could be more hideous to see from my child? Why do I do that to my husband? If I model that type of behavior to my son, that's exactly what I can expect back from him. Where I often rely on my husband to call me out and take the high road, I have got to make the choice to take the high road myself and lay down my pride for the sake of these incredible men in my life.

I think it's time for me to lay down this sin and ask for Christ to forgive me and give me His love for my family. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Top 10 Pros and Cons of Pregnancy so Far

Pros:
My husband LOVES touching my hair. It feels thicker and has more body now.
I got a whole new wardrobe for free (to me). These maternity clothes are cuter than the ones I had!
Lots of back rubs and snuggles.
A lovely glow.
Getting to feel Raiden kicking and moving.
Getting to see awesome ultrasounds.
Lots of glorious sleep!
No time of the month for NINE WHOLE MONTHS!
Having the excuse, "I'm growing a person, what did YOU do today?"
Large...tracts of land.... ;)


Cons:
A whole bunch of doctors' visits that do little or nothing fun, and quite a few un-fun things.
Having to eat constantly...it gets old very quickly.
Temporarily losing that schoolgirl figure.
Temporarily losing libido.
My eczema is worse.
Back aches and stretchy pains.
Can't garden as long at a stretch or eat sushi or half-cooked meat or drink booze.
Occasional bouts of PMS-like grouchiness.
Occasional gas and/or nausea.
The bump gets in the way of almost everything.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

22 weeks and I found a cool update!


How Far Along: 22 weeks!
Size of baby: 1-ish lbs. <3
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained around 3-5 lbs so far. 
Maternity Clothes: Right now, I'm in a conventional everything but shirt, depending on the garment.
Gender: Boy
Movement: A few times per day, usually around mealtime and bedtime.
Sleep:  <3 sleep. I'd sleep 9-10 hours/day every day if I could. I usually can.
What I miss: Rolling over not requiring an act of Congress, sushi
Cravings: Breakfast, salty foods, protein-rich foods, and macaroni.
Symptoms: I eat a lot, I sleep a lot, my back gets achy, and POOF! Out stretches the tummy!
Best Moment this week: Going to visit my family for Memorial Day on the spur of the moment. I packed while they drove up to get me! 
Name: We are almost entirely set on Raiden Christopher. I love it so much!
In Other News: I had my first ever chiropractor appointment this week. Hopefully getting adjusted and following his advice will help me to have a better time when it comes to labor and delivery as well as an easier time with my body changing during pregnancy. 



Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Oh, Halfway There!

This is a picture from the ultrasound yesterday. Our little minja is most definitely a boy. The ultrasound tech told us we could buy blue and throw away the receipts, he'd put the odds at 100%.

So far our name-hunting journey has led us to Raiden as a first name, and a possible middle name of Christopher, though we're both thinking about it before finalizing that decision. David was definitely right, our choice of first name has brought the gamers out in force. (Raiden, since it's Japanese in origin, is the name of a couple of popular video game characters, most notably in Mortal Kombat.)

Today marks the beginning of week 20, the halfway mark. I've been one of the "lucky ones" who had little to no nausea, and even now only feel poorly if I A) do not take my prenatal vitamin, B) overdo it in the garden, like hoeing for 2 hours without stopping, or C) get sleep deprived. If I do overdo it in any of these areas, I feel nauseated for about 10 minutes, toss my lunch in the bathroom, then am immediately fine to go get a new lunch.


This picture was taken about two weeks ago. I don't look much bigger now than I did then, barely a discernible bump unless I wear really tight clothes. A new dad told us that the time until 20 weeks or so looks more like "that lady had too many hamburgers" and less like a baby. 

Speaking of baby, I feel him frequently now, especially after meals and when I'm trying to go to sleep. He thumps around happily and I'm glad he's exercising, even if it means I lie in bed for a while until he settles down so I can sleep.

Right now, the biggest concern I have isn't for the baby's development (which has been perfect), my own mothering, or delivery. It's been location. Not knowing where we'll be living or where David will be working kinda stinks, especially because I want so badly to collect the baby furniture in one place. These past 20 weeks have flown by, and summers always go by super fast for me, so I know it will be no time at all before I'm holding my son and need a place to lay him down. If that means a pack and play in our bedroom, that's fine by me, but I want to prepare for that emotionally and physically. If that means its own nursery in a new house, I want to prepare for that.

Honestly, though, I know we are where we are supposed to be for right now. I'm doing everything in my power (that I can think of) to be prepared for when we take our next step. I'm learning so much about being a mom and getting fun ideas of things to do with our son for later.

Well, that's about it for now!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

16 weeks and not a dull moment yet!

So, I thought I'd share an atypical day in the life of this preggo woman. My husband and I are house sitting for his parents this week and it's been loads of fun.

My camera documentation began when I took this photo to demonstrate how I was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
You can clearly see both my feet and my baby bump. I was cooking up a batch of hamburger and hot dog buns and I took a trip into the laundry room to relieve the freezer of some hot dogs. Then I saw this:

Yup. It's three cats all trying to kill a giant rat. The scene was hilarious. Before I continue, let's introduce the players, and go ahead and make your bets on who killed the rats.

Bynx-The "Momma" cat (the white and black one), an experienced hunter, but getting a little old
Gisko-Bynx's daughter, a mighty huntress who often brings back catches and leaves them on the doorstep
Little Bit-The playful and fearless Bobtail who has made a kill or two
Pepper-The cross-eyed grey Balinese who sleeps all day
The yet officially unnamed puppy-who is about as big as the rat (part terrier, part Australian shepherd)
Lick-The giant tongue who lays around and is scared of bugs (part lab, part pit bull)
David-The husband who was playing Skyrim when all this started
Jenny-The preggo woman
Minja-The unborn baby to whom the blog title refers.

Made your guesses yet? The rat does die at the end...and one of these characters finishes it off.

I saw the cats chasing the rat as it hid behind the litter box. The sight was hilarious, so I called David in to watch. We watched and laughed as Pepper stared down the rat, cross-eyed, while Little Bit did most of the leg work. Bynx corralled the rat, but didn't make any moves in its direction.

Finally, Little Bit caught the rat and flung it around, hissing and growling as it bit back after she bit it. Soon she'd had enough and let go. The rat ran into the bathroom, then into our room and behind one of David's speakers. The cats had apparently had enough of this bigger-than-usual foe, so they stood back and watched instead of pouncing as it ran around.

Then David grabbed an empty trash can and tore off part of the pizza box from last night's dinner and spanked the rat until it walked into the trash can and he took it outside. But not before I snapped a picture!

This is a 13-gallon trash can and the rat was as long as the bottom was wide, easily.

So, David dumped it outside.

And....

Lick killed it. The otherwise useless tongue that is afraid of butterflies finished off the injured rat. And we grilled it. Just kidding on the grill bit. We did grill some magnificent hamburgers and chicken, though.

These are the delicious homemade hamburger and hot dog buns. Now we have to buy some hot dogs, since apparently there weren't any in the freezer after all. Maybe I can make some rat hot dogs. Nah, too much real meat. :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Almost out of first trimester!

I'd like to say, "and good riddance" but really, I feel like a college freshman going into sophomore year.  I've gotten through the first round, but there is still a long road ahead, and I have no idea what the rest of this ride is going to entail.  I've been through just enough to dissolve most of my pre-conceived notions about what pregnancy would be like, but not enough to build a better expectation.

1. This past Monday was my 11-week appointment.  All was well, and it was uneventful.  Somehow, I managed not to gain any weight, despite eating constantly (and yes, holding it down, too).  I shaved my legs in vain, and I am NOT complaining about it!  Apparently, the next appointment will be much like this one.

2. I have a baby bump.  David noticed it just yesterday, and he's been rather excited about it.  I am at an awkward stage where my clothes don't quite fit correctly, but I'm no where near my maternity clothes size.  I'm hoping to find and dig out my maxi dresses from last summer to wear, but haven't located them in the building yet.  Apparently, according to David's mom and little brother, I "look pregnant" even in how I stand and walk already.  I hope this isn't a sign of a weak back and is just my body adjusting to its new role as a human incubator.

3. Lauren and I have begun to exercise together.  Our "stage 1" is a brisk, 2-mile walk.  So far, we've had some lovely adventures on our walks.  The first one was when Lauren spotted a vaccine bottle on the side of the road.  We are near a veterinary clinic, so we assumed it was some kind of dog vaccine and determined to learn more about our find.  In fact, it was a conjugate to a meningitis vaccine, and had no business being outside of a landfill.  It must have fallen off of the garbage truck, because there is no reason for anyone traveling that road to have one of those.  The second discovery was made by Lauren as well, as I almost stepped on it.  It was a baby king snake.  He was sunning himself in the middle of the road.  I poked him with a stick to get him to bite it (odd hobby, I know) and Jeremy picked him up and took him home to help keep the compost pile clean.  We hope to see him again sometime, grown up and fat with pests.

4. So, sorry, no mood swings to report.  Really, so far I've gotten a little snippy, and occasionally I will voice some opinionated blurbs to David, but I haven't gone all "crazy preggo" just yet.  Maybe I should stage one?  I really just don't want to be hurtful in the words I say.  I'm okay with "feeling" hormonally emotional, as long as I maintain my composure and treat people with the same kindness that I would like to see from them.

5. Finally, I've decided that I would like to try to read more.  I have enjoyed different kinds of relaxing lately and hope to maybe lay out in the sun or on my bed and add more reading and writing (that are not work-related) to my platter.  And please pray for me--it is a decently full and occasionally overwhelming platter.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Imparting maturity

Now that I'm heading rapidly in the direction of parenthood, I'm wondering what goals parenthood should have. Is it to keep the kid alive and in possession of its limbs until it can go off and repeat the process?  Is it to create a prepared and acclimated member of the culture, so that when you "release it into the wild" it can do well?

Among these thoughts is the idea of maturity.  I've been evaluating my own maturity as well as what the goal of maturity is in evaluating progress into adulthood.  I've never really thought of myself as much of an adult, though I've usually assumed myself to be more mature than most.  This has backfired into humiliation a time or two, and I've looked back to see that I spent much of my life playacting maturity in order to seem superior to these odd creatures, these "other kids my age" with whom I rarely interacted.  So, I traded this cultural comparison for one a little less nebulous.

Paul almost interrupts the most famous text on love ever written with this description (1 Cor. 13:11):

When I was a child, 
I spoke like a child, 
I thought like a child, 
I reasoned like a child. 
When I became a man, 
I put aside childish things.


This is a little more of what I was looking for.  The context is incredible--instead of trying to get an idea of what love "is" in a futile description of an emotion that changes from person to person, it instead describes what love does.  This verse transitions from describing love to describing growth, then the chapter ends with the idea that faith, hope, and love remain, even though we only see God and these things like we're looking into a scratched mirror.

So, maturity can be put into three distinct categories: speech, thought, and reasoning.  We often laugh at or even delight in the simplicity of childlike minds...when they are present in children.  But in adults, we expect a development of selflessness, understanding, and communication that goes beyond what children naturally do.

Paul isn't simply talking about the human experience here, though.  He's encouraging the Corinthians to grow up and put aside their childish pursuit of their own lusts and inclinations and aspire to this more mature, selfless love.  And really, that's how I'd sum up maturity.  Selfless love that desires what's best (not just what feels best) for others.  You can see it demonstrated in speech, thought, and reasoning, as well as any other aspect of life--priorities, actions, what have you.

So then....how to make this happen?  How do you get from childish selfishness to mature, selfless love?  I think the example of Christ is an immense picture of ultimate selfless love, and we can mirror it in our day-to-day actions and setting of priorities.  But in the end, the heart is His to change.  We can work along with Him toward the goal, but without His enabling power, we are hopeless to attain this change on our own.  It's not just about actions and motives, it's also about strengthening our relationship with Him as well as with those around us.

Which means I'm not going to arrive today.  Drat.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

10 weeks and all's well

The first trimester has not at all been as terrifying as I expected.  I haven't been horribly nauseated, due to equal parts of eating constantly and taking oodles of prenatal vitamins.  I haven't been horribly fatigued, though I have taken to sleeping in when I can; and I've noticed I can't push as much in the physical activity department.  I haven't noticed any major mood swings, just mild PMS-like snippy-ness.

I have an OB appointment next week, and I'm hoping to have supplemental insurance by then.  We are going to have a doozy of a time paying for this if it all doesn't go through.  Pray please that this happens quickly and smoothly.

Honestly, the biggest drag is that I'm sick of eating.  I don't like that it takes so much time to prepare, eat, and clean up food every day.

On a more minor note, it appears I have no brain.  I even fuzzed in the middle of typing that sentence and wondered, "now what was I going to mention?  Stupid brain.  Oh!  That's what it was."  No wonder kids think their parents are brain dead.  Apparently we are!  When we got my maternity clothes, we bought them at half price.  My family got a kick out of having me do the mental calculations to let them know how much we actually spent.  "What's half of $7?"  "Uh.....2....$3.50?"

Bright side now: We are having a great time growing through this time together.  David and I are doing what we love and preparing to add another love into that.  Our biggest unknown is finances.  We'll see how things go in the next few months.  At this point, we're being well taken care of, and we're happy to enjoy our lives and our work and our church.

And I need to eat again.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Minja's first road trip!

It was a quiet afternoon...

I was editing away, merrily and contentedly, when I took a break to answer my emails.  There was one from my mom: "hey, we should all go to North Carolina and surprise your brother for his birthday.  If you're up for it, I'll pick you guys up on Friday and we'll come back Sunday."

Welcome to a tizzy!  All of a sudden, I had 2 days to do a week's worth of editing, clean the house, pack, and get ready for a weekend road trip.

I will interject here that my husband is an incredible man.  Of all that I listed, I could not accomplish but the first item--the editing.  He did every ounce of the cleaning--several hours' worth of work. We both packed, but that was mostly throwing clothes into a bag 5 minutes before leaving.  He made sure we had food to eat and made me several cups of hot tea to enjoy while I busily typed away.

So, my mom, little sister, and little brother arrived (while my clothes to pack were in the dryer--talk about last-minute.  I'm not this kind of person!!!) and we crammed into Mom's Santa Fe and embarked.  We drove up to Knoxville to get dinner and introduced Mom to Five Guys.  I ate a small cheeseburger (surprisingly, the whole thing) and thoroughly enjoyed it.  The only part that made me a little uneasy was when I saw pink in the meat...after I'd already swallowed the bite in my mouth.  "Oh well, let's hope listeriosis isn't on my to-do list for today" and I finished the burger.

Chris was asleep when we got there and thoroughly surprised.  Mom baked him his favorite cake--a carrot cake, and he groggily ate a wedge and we all chatted some before he crawled back in bed.

The next morning, Mom, Katina, and I got up super early as there was a nearby consignment thingie going on in one of the massive agricultural buildings (read, warehouse with clothing racks almost as long as a house) and all the maternity stuff was going to be half price.  When we got there, we all but sprinted to the maternity section (which Katina had found the day before) and began yanking clothes off the racks with gusto.  We made a pile next to the wall and sorted through it once we had found everything in my size that didn't have obvious rips or stains.  The event was filling up quickly,  and we even had someone ask to look through our reject pile before we finalized our choices and headed for checkout.  Besides an entire wardrobe of maternity clothes, we found several "AC/DC" (that was my mom's term, to our shock) baby outfits, a wrap, a bag of bottles, a baby carrier (backpack sort of thing), and a buggy liner.  My mom was ecstatic when she saw the final total: less than $160.00.

The rest of our trip was spent talking and playing a Rook tournament.  We had a great time, a great trip back, and a ton of fun just getting to spend time with family.  We really enjoyed getting to hear Chris preach, as usual, and took him out to Carrabba's for his birthday lunch.

Minja caused little to no issue the entire time we were there!  Hooray!  Of course, that night was another story, but that was after the road trip was long over.

And a good time was had by all.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Minja's first quick punch to the stomach

I was wondering when this "morning sickness" people talked about would show up.  My mom described her early weeks with me as spent "bent over the commode," and Aunt Myra with her daughter, "I thought I was going to puke her up!"

Part of this I knew was temporary.  I'm 8 weeks along now, far from through my first trimester, with plenty of time left to experience harsh symptoms.  But part of me sees that my prenatal vitamin has oodles of Vitamin B6, a known nausea-reducer.  To be honest, besides mild nausea lasting only a couple minutes, I hadn't had any morning sickness to speak of so far.  Until today, that is.

The first problem is that I overslept yesterday.  Like, didn't get up until after noon kind of overslept.  So, this morning, at about 5AM, I woke up ready to face the day that hadn't technically arrived yet.  I enjoyed snuggling with my husband until he got up for work at 7, then made him a cup of coffee and myself a cup of hot chocolate.  I drank the cocoa and ate a banana and set to work editing.  Half an hour later, I started feeling gassy.  This is typical, but I wondered if, since my sinuses were bothering me, I should eat something else to make sure my stomach stayed happy.  Too late.  I made it to the kitchen, then tossed breakfast 1 and promptly set about eating breakfast 2, my typical half-bowl of granola cereal.  Besides a case of the shakes, I felt much better.  And that's it.  No more nausea (so far, the day is still young) and no more trouble.

The moral of the story: steer clear of sweets, especially before eating grains and fiber.  Minja rejects unhealthy breakfast beverages.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Minja's first doctor's visit

I have decided, after much consideration, to censor portions of what actually happened.  If you are actually pregnant and want a rundown of what to expect at the first OB/midwife visit, hit me up in person or through a private message and I'll fill you in on the censored bits.  I'm not shy about it, I'm just not sure the entire internet wants to know these things.

First, there were lots of questions.  They actually asked more than I did, which made me feel much better about my page-long list I brought.  Most of them were things I'd researched already, but wanted the facility's perspective.  The biggest question I had actually had to do with raw milk, since we had recently been given some and I was hoping for a nice latte.  She said that, to kill the bacteria that causes listeriosis, I at least needed to get the milk steaming.  A steaming latte?  I can handle that.  No raw fish sushi for 9 months?  That one will be more difficult.

So, they took basic things like ear temp, height, weight, medical history, blood pressure, heart rate, lung temp, 4 vials of blood, and various other stuff.  Basically, it was a long physical.  And the minja passed with flying colors!  No diseases, no goofy issues, good development, all that.

But the cool part was definitely the ultrasound.  They had screens so I could see what was going on and so could David.  The tech was definitely 1 cup of coffee short of an aneurysm--he was very excited about his job, the technology, and getting to introduce us to our new little one!  With no difficulty at all, he located the baby.  One thing I wasn't expecting...he zoomed in and showed us the little heart fluttering away in our bean-sized baby.  Then he turned up the doppler and there it was...the heartbeat, powerful and poignant, throbbing away as if to say, "I'm not just a part of you, though I am in you.  I am my own person.  I have my own DNA, my own heart, and it doesn't beat in sync with yours."  The feeling was overwhelming.

So, the date is set for October 2nd.  David and I did the math, and that makes this an anniversary baby.  Interestingly, two years to the day, the two becoming one flesh created a new flesh as an expression of that love.  This means that I was 7 weeks to the day when I had the appointment on Monday.  This means that the minja is 5 weeks old.

In other news: no crazy outbursts to report yet!  Only mild nausea, an aversion to strong smells and foods that have strong smells.  Oh, and gassyness.  Think "you just ate Mexican food" but it's like that all the time.  Wake up...eating...not eating...it's all the same.

So far, so good!  Let's see what week 8 has in store!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Betting pool, and Why "Minja"?

Today I begin the betting pool.  Bailee was the first to put her name down for a girl.  I'm rather hoping for a girl, but thinking we'll wind up with a boy.  So far, we have Bailee, Hannah, and Ty on the "girl" side, and me, David, Jeremy, and JoAnn for the "boy" side.  

So, why Minja?  Why not something sentimental like, "my little angel"?  I understand people calling their baby "my little angel."  The baby is a gift from God and precious and sweet.  But it is not an angel, it's a person.  I know people who do call their babies "angels" are aware of that, it just bothers me to think in those terms.  That, and it's cheesy.  

Therefore, I submit to you the "minja."  Minja is a reference to Ask A Ninja, and is defined as a "mini-ninja."  This encompasses the humanity of the infant as well as its potential to be totally cool.  It also lets you know that its parents are nerds.  The other option, as submitted by my sister, is "little cracker," but that's a little too ghetto and would cramp my style, man.  Word.

Symptoms and waiting for the confirmation appointment

I joked to Anna yesterday that I think my body has forgotten all other indicators and switched to a universal of nausea.  Need to eat?  You don't feel hunger, you feel nausea.  Need to wake up?  You don't need to feel wakefulness, you need to feel nausea.  Need to sneeze?  Well, that hasn't happened yet, but I'm waiting for it.  Honestly, my symptoms so far have been mild.  I've been a little sleepier, the girls were REALLY sore for a day or two, but since then have only been a little sore.  I get kinda nauseated in the morning and before meals, but not "I'm going to throw up right now" levels.  But then again, I think I earned a "nausea trooper" badge on our mission trip to Honduras when I calmly threw up out the bus window and went back to leaning against the seat in front of me.  Brian said that, if I could handle that, pregnancy nausea would be no biggie.  And so far, he's been right.  But it's early yet to celebrate. 

Speaking of celebration, I have a "pregnancy buddy" to go through it with me.  Isn't God cool, He gave me a friend to actually walk through it all together with!  Our due dates are 5 days away from each other!

Superbowl Discovery!

We started having suspicions when I missed Freddie's visit.  This has happened before, but when it did, I was freaking out from the PMS, so David knew I was most definitely not pregnant.  This time, I missed it, and was all "meh, whatever."  He knew it was time to panic.  The girls were sore, I was skipping hunger and going straight to nausea, and not even cramping a little. 

So, we grabbed a cheap pregnancy test at Walmart and I took it just before we left for our Super Bowl party.  The control bar was a light pink, but the cross bar was dark and clear.  I thought at first that they switched the bars.  Apparently, though, that's a decent sign that there were oodles of hormones just dying to enjoy their rampage around my body.  



David had the genius idea to get a few people praying for us.  We don't want to announce it yet because of the decently high percentage of first-babies that don't implant.  I'd hate to start calling our parents "Grandma/Grandpa" and then have to announce a miscarriage.  So, I told Bailee and Jess, David told Steve (because he sold us the prenatal vitamins) and Brian and Anna. 

Brian and Anna are the most incredible couple in the universe!  They have 3 boys, all under the age of 5.  Brian is David's internship "boss" and is the discipleship pastor at our church.  Anna is a stay-at-home mom and takes care of their little boys.  They decided the day David told them about it to take us out to dinner.  They gave us great practical advice--who is a really good OB practice, when to make an appointment, what to expect next, and offered us some books to check out.  But beyond that, they gave us assurance that we weren't going to die, we were going to be ok. 

"It bothers me when people say things like 'your love is over because you have kids.'  I have just as much fun dating my husband now as I did before we had kids, because we're intentional about getting time together," Anna told me.  They also said,

"Not that I expect you to be at this place or anything, but our last one was unplanned like yours.  It was really cool knowing that God did this, it wasn't our plan, and He knows exactly what He's doing." 

"Yeah," David admitted, "I know that intellectually, but not having experienced it is very different." 

Brian told us to "consider it as if you owe your first child an apology.  You have to learn this by trial and error.  If you go through it already understanding that you owe that one an apology, it gives you the grace to go through it."

"Yes," Anna said, "I think God's biggest gift to parents is that the kid won't remember the first couple of years.  You'll look back and think, 'why did I do that?'"  They laughed, probably remembering a few things they did for which they're going to apologize to their oldest in a few years. 

On the way out, David asked what he should look forward to or "handle" next.  They said to look out for the mood swings, and shared a story of one of Anna's most dramatic. 

"Just decide ahead of time that you're going to laugh about it one day.  Have fun with it together!"  Anna encouraged us. 

"Maybe I'll write a blog about it."  I said. 

And that's precisely what I plan to do.  I think I'll write myself a few reminders.  I've been working on my responses when I get emotional for PMS, so this will be worse.  But I've discovered I can't control how I feel, but I can control how I deal with that feeling (at least for now). 

David is super gracious and responds to my emotional basket case self by taking me in his arms and quietly talking to me and holding me and helping me until I calm down.  He'll go out of his way to be there for me, and he's eerily able to know before I do exactly what's going on.  I'll be feeling like I want to do some housework, and he'll know I'm about to get grouchy.  This kind of man is rare, but it's a tremendous relief to know I have a super supportive husband who will be walking with me through this.