I'd like to say, "and good riddance" but really, I feel like a college freshman going into sophomore year. I've gotten through the first round, but there is still a long road ahead, and I have no idea what the rest of this ride is going to entail. I've been through just enough to dissolve most of my pre-conceived notions about what pregnancy would be like, but not enough to build a better expectation.
1. This past Monday was my 11-week appointment. All was well, and it was uneventful. Somehow, I managed not to gain any weight, despite eating constantly (and yes, holding it down, too). I shaved my legs in vain, and I am NOT complaining about it! Apparently, the next appointment will be much like this one.
2. I have a baby bump. David noticed it just yesterday, and he's been rather excited about it. I am at an awkward stage where my clothes don't quite fit correctly, but I'm no where near my maternity clothes size. I'm hoping to find and dig out my maxi dresses from last summer to wear, but haven't located them in the building yet. Apparently, according to David's mom and little brother, I "look pregnant" even in how I stand and walk already. I hope this isn't a sign of a weak back and is just my body adjusting to its new role as a human incubator.
3. Lauren and I have begun to exercise together. Our "stage 1" is a brisk, 2-mile walk. So far, we've had some lovely adventures on our walks. The first one was when Lauren spotted a vaccine bottle on the side of the road. We are near a veterinary clinic, so we assumed it was some kind of dog vaccine and determined to learn more about our find. In fact, it was a conjugate to a meningitis vaccine, and had no business being outside of a landfill. It must have fallen off of the garbage truck, because there is no reason for anyone traveling that road to have one of those. The second discovery was made by Lauren as well, as I almost stepped on it. It was a baby king snake. He was sunning himself in the middle of the road. I poked him with a stick to get him to bite it (odd hobby, I know) and Jeremy picked him up and took him home to help keep the compost pile clean. We hope to see him again sometime, grown up and fat with pests.
4. So, sorry, no mood swings to report. Really, so far I've gotten a little snippy, and occasionally I will voice some opinionated blurbs to David, but I haven't gone all "crazy preggo" just yet. Maybe I should stage one? I really just don't want to be hurtful in the words I say. I'm okay with "feeling" hormonally emotional, as long as I maintain my composure and treat people with the same kindness that I would like to see from them.
5. Finally, I've decided that I would like to try to read more. I have enjoyed different kinds of relaxing lately and hope to maybe lay out in the sun or on my bed and add more reading and writing (that are not work-related) to my platter. And please pray for me--it is a decently full and occasionally overwhelming platter.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Imparting maturity
Now that I'm heading rapidly in the direction of parenthood, I'm wondering what goals parenthood should have. Is it to keep the kid alive and in possession of its limbs until it can go off and repeat the process? Is it to create a prepared and acclimated member of the culture, so that when you "release it into the wild" it can do well?
Among these thoughts is the idea of maturity. I've been evaluating my own maturity as well as what the goal of maturity is in evaluating progress into adulthood. I've never really thought of myself as much of an adult, though I've usually assumed myself to be more mature than most. This has backfired into humiliation a time or two, and I've looked back to see that I spent much of my life playacting maturity in order to seem superior to these odd creatures, these "other kids my age" with whom I rarely interacted. So, I traded this cultural comparison for one a little less nebulous.
Paul almost interrupts the most famous text on love ever written with this description (1 Cor. 13:11):
When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man,
I put aside childish things.
This is a little more of what I was looking for. The context is incredible--instead of trying to get an idea of what love "is" in a futile description of an emotion that changes from person to person, it instead describes what love does. This verse transitions from describing love to describing growth, then the chapter ends with the idea that faith, hope, and love remain, even though we only see God and these things like we're looking into a scratched mirror.
So, maturity can be put into three distinct categories: speech, thought, and reasoning. We often laugh at or even delight in the simplicity of childlike minds...when they are present in children. But in adults, we expect a development of selflessness, understanding, and communication that goes beyond what children naturally do.
Paul isn't simply talking about the human experience here, though. He's encouraging the Corinthians to grow up and put aside their childish pursuit of their own lusts and inclinations and aspire to this more mature, selfless love. And really, that's how I'd sum up maturity. Selfless love that desires what's best (not just what feels best) for others. You can see it demonstrated in speech, thought, and reasoning, as well as any other aspect of life--priorities, actions, what have you.
So then....how to make this happen? How do you get from childish selfishness to mature, selfless love? I think the example of Christ is an immense picture of ultimate selfless love, and we can mirror it in our day-to-day actions and setting of priorities. But in the end, the heart is His to change. We can work along with Him toward the goal, but without His enabling power, we are hopeless to attain this change on our own. It's not just about actions and motives, it's also about strengthening our relationship with Him as well as with those around us.
Which means I'm not going to arrive today. Drat.
Among these thoughts is the idea of maturity. I've been evaluating my own maturity as well as what the goal of maturity is in evaluating progress into adulthood. I've never really thought of myself as much of an adult, though I've usually assumed myself to be more mature than most. This has backfired into humiliation a time or two, and I've looked back to see that I spent much of my life playacting maturity in order to seem superior to these odd creatures, these "other kids my age" with whom I rarely interacted. So, I traded this cultural comparison for one a little less nebulous.
Paul almost interrupts the most famous text on love ever written with this description (1 Cor. 13:11):
When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man,
I put aside childish things.
This is a little more of what I was looking for. The context is incredible--instead of trying to get an idea of what love "is" in a futile description of an emotion that changes from person to person, it instead describes what love does. This verse transitions from describing love to describing growth, then the chapter ends with the idea that faith, hope, and love remain, even though we only see God and these things like we're looking into a scratched mirror.
So, maturity can be put into three distinct categories: speech, thought, and reasoning. We often laugh at or even delight in the simplicity of childlike minds...when they are present in children. But in adults, we expect a development of selflessness, understanding, and communication that goes beyond what children naturally do.
Paul isn't simply talking about the human experience here, though. He's encouraging the Corinthians to grow up and put aside their childish pursuit of their own lusts and inclinations and aspire to this more mature, selfless love. And really, that's how I'd sum up maturity. Selfless love that desires what's best (not just what feels best) for others. You can see it demonstrated in speech, thought, and reasoning, as well as any other aspect of life--priorities, actions, what have you.
So then....how to make this happen? How do you get from childish selfishness to mature, selfless love? I think the example of Christ is an immense picture of ultimate selfless love, and we can mirror it in our day-to-day actions and setting of priorities. But in the end, the heart is His to change. We can work along with Him toward the goal, but without His enabling power, we are hopeless to attain this change on our own. It's not just about actions and motives, it's also about strengthening our relationship with Him as well as with those around us.
Which means I'm not going to arrive today. Drat.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
10 weeks and all's well
The first trimester has not at all been as terrifying as I expected. I haven't been horribly nauseated, due to equal parts of eating constantly and taking oodles of prenatal vitamins. I haven't been horribly fatigued, though I have taken to sleeping in when I can; and I've noticed I can't push as much in the physical activity department. I haven't noticed any major mood swings, just mild PMS-like snippy-ness.
I have an OB appointment next week, and I'm hoping to have supplemental insurance by then. We are going to have a doozy of a time paying for this if it all doesn't go through. Pray please that this happens quickly and smoothly.
Honestly, the biggest drag is that I'm sick of eating. I don't like that it takes so much time to prepare, eat, and clean up food every day.
On a more minor note, it appears I have no brain. I even fuzzed in the middle of typing that sentence and wondered, "now what was I going to mention? Stupid brain. Oh! That's what it was." No wonder kids think their parents are brain dead. Apparently we are! When we got my maternity clothes, we bought them at half price. My family got a kick out of having me do the mental calculations to let them know how much we actually spent. "What's half of $7?" "Uh.....2....$3.50?"
Bright side now: We are having a great time growing through this time together. David and I are doing what we love and preparing to add another love into that. Our biggest unknown is finances. We'll see how things go in the next few months. At this point, we're being well taken care of, and we're happy to enjoy our lives and our work and our church.
And I need to eat again.
I have an OB appointment next week, and I'm hoping to have supplemental insurance by then. We are going to have a doozy of a time paying for this if it all doesn't go through. Pray please that this happens quickly and smoothly.
Honestly, the biggest drag is that I'm sick of eating. I don't like that it takes so much time to prepare, eat, and clean up food every day.
On a more minor note, it appears I have no brain. I even fuzzed in the middle of typing that sentence and wondered, "now what was I going to mention? Stupid brain. Oh! That's what it was." No wonder kids think their parents are brain dead. Apparently we are! When we got my maternity clothes, we bought them at half price. My family got a kick out of having me do the mental calculations to let them know how much we actually spent. "What's half of $7?" "Uh.....2....$3.50?"
Bright side now: We are having a great time growing through this time together. David and I are doing what we love and preparing to add another love into that. Our biggest unknown is finances. We'll see how things go in the next few months. At this point, we're being well taken care of, and we're happy to enjoy our lives and our work and our church.
And I need to eat again.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Minja's first road trip!
It was a quiet afternoon...
I was editing away, merrily and contentedly, when I took a break to answer my emails. There was one from my mom: "hey, we should all go to North Carolina and surprise your brother for his birthday. If you're up for it, I'll pick you guys up on Friday and we'll come back Sunday."
Welcome to a tizzy! All of a sudden, I had 2 days to do a week's worth of editing, clean the house, pack, and get ready for a weekend road trip.
I will interject here that my husband is an incredible man. Of all that I listed, I could not accomplish but the first item--the editing. He did every ounce of the cleaning--several hours' worth of work. We both packed, but that was mostly throwing clothes into a bag 5 minutes before leaving. He made sure we had food to eat and made me several cups of hot tea to enjoy while I busily typed away.
So, my mom, little sister, and little brother arrived (while my clothes to pack were in the dryer--talk about last-minute. I'm not this kind of person!!!) and we crammed into Mom's Santa Fe and embarked. We drove up to Knoxville to get dinner and introduced Mom to Five Guys. I ate a small cheeseburger (surprisingly, the whole thing) and thoroughly enjoyed it. The only part that made me a little uneasy was when I saw pink in the meat...after I'd already swallowed the bite in my mouth. "Oh well, let's hope listeriosis isn't on my to-do list for today" and I finished the burger.
Chris was asleep when we got there and thoroughly surprised. Mom baked him his favorite cake--a carrot cake, and he groggily ate a wedge and we all chatted some before he crawled back in bed.
The next morning, Mom, Katina, and I got up super early as there was a nearby consignment thingie going on in one of the massive agricultural buildings (read, warehouse with clothing racks almost as long as a house) and all the maternity stuff was going to be half price. When we got there, we all but sprinted to the maternity section (which Katina had found the day before) and began yanking clothes off the racks with gusto. We made a pile next to the wall and sorted through it once we had found everything in my size that didn't have obvious rips or stains. The event was filling up quickly, and we even had someone ask to look through our reject pile before we finalized our choices and headed for checkout. Besides an entire wardrobe of maternity clothes, we found several "AC/DC" (that was my mom's term, to our shock) baby outfits, a wrap, a bag of bottles, a baby carrier (backpack sort of thing), and a buggy liner. My mom was ecstatic when she saw the final total: less than $160.00.
The rest of our trip was spent talking and playing a Rook tournament. We had a great time, a great trip back, and a ton of fun just getting to spend time with family. We really enjoyed getting to hear Chris preach, as usual, and took him out to Carrabba's for his birthday lunch.
Minja caused little to no issue the entire time we were there! Hooray! Of course, that night was another story, but that was after the road trip was long over.
And a good time was had by all.
I was editing away, merrily and contentedly, when I took a break to answer my emails. There was one from my mom: "hey, we should all go to North Carolina and surprise your brother for his birthday. If you're up for it, I'll pick you guys up on Friday and we'll come back Sunday."
Welcome to a tizzy! All of a sudden, I had 2 days to do a week's worth of editing, clean the house, pack, and get ready for a weekend road trip.
I will interject here that my husband is an incredible man. Of all that I listed, I could not accomplish but the first item--the editing. He did every ounce of the cleaning--several hours' worth of work. We both packed, but that was mostly throwing clothes into a bag 5 minutes before leaving. He made sure we had food to eat and made me several cups of hot tea to enjoy while I busily typed away.
So, my mom, little sister, and little brother arrived (while my clothes to pack were in the dryer--talk about last-minute. I'm not this kind of person!!!) and we crammed into Mom's Santa Fe and embarked. We drove up to Knoxville to get dinner and introduced Mom to Five Guys. I ate a small cheeseburger (surprisingly, the whole thing) and thoroughly enjoyed it. The only part that made me a little uneasy was when I saw pink in the meat...after I'd already swallowed the bite in my mouth. "Oh well, let's hope listeriosis isn't on my to-do list for today" and I finished the burger.
Chris was asleep when we got there and thoroughly surprised. Mom baked him his favorite cake--a carrot cake, and he groggily ate a wedge and we all chatted some before he crawled back in bed.
The next morning, Mom, Katina, and I got up super early as there was a nearby consignment thingie going on in one of the massive agricultural buildings (read, warehouse with clothing racks almost as long as a house) and all the maternity stuff was going to be half price. When we got there, we all but sprinted to the maternity section (which Katina had found the day before) and began yanking clothes off the racks with gusto. We made a pile next to the wall and sorted through it once we had found everything in my size that didn't have obvious rips or stains. The event was filling up quickly, and we even had someone ask to look through our reject pile before we finalized our choices and headed for checkout. Besides an entire wardrobe of maternity clothes, we found several "AC/DC" (that was my mom's term, to our shock) baby outfits, a wrap, a bag of bottles, a baby carrier (backpack sort of thing), and a buggy liner. My mom was ecstatic when she saw the final total: less than $160.00.
The rest of our trip was spent talking and playing a Rook tournament. We had a great time, a great trip back, and a ton of fun just getting to spend time with family. We really enjoyed getting to hear Chris preach, as usual, and took him out to Carrabba's for his birthday lunch.
Minja caused little to no issue the entire time we were there! Hooray! Of course, that night was another story, but that was after the road trip was long over.
And a good time was had by all.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Minja's first quick punch to the stomach
I was wondering when this "morning sickness" people talked about would show up. My mom described her early weeks with me as spent "bent over the commode," and Aunt Myra with her daughter, "I thought I was going to puke her up!"
Part of this I knew was temporary. I'm 8 weeks along now, far from through my first trimester, with plenty of time left to experience harsh symptoms. But part of me sees that my prenatal vitamin has oodles of Vitamin B6, a known nausea-reducer. To be honest, besides mild nausea lasting only a couple minutes, I hadn't had any morning sickness to speak of so far. Until today, that is.
The first problem is that I overslept yesterday. Like, didn't get up until after noon kind of overslept. So, this morning, at about 5AM, I woke up ready to face the day that hadn't technically arrived yet. I enjoyed snuggling with my husband until he got up for work at 7, then made him a cup of coffee and myself a cup of hot chocolate. I drank the cocoa and ate a banana and set to work editing. Half an hour later, I started feeling gassy. This is typical, but I wondered if, since my sinuses were bothering me, I should eat something else to make sure my stomach stayed happy. Too late. I made it to the kitchen, then tossed breakfast 1 and promptly set about eating breakfast 2, my typical half-bowl of granola cereal. Besides a case of the shakes, I felt much better. And that's it. No more nausea (so far, the day is still young) and no more trouble.
The moral of the story: steer clear of sweets, especially before eating grains and fiber. Minja rejects unhealthy breakfast beverages.
Part of this I knew was temporary. I'm 8 weeks along now, far from through my first trimester, with plenty of time left to experience harsh symptoms. But part of me sees that my prenatal vitamin has oodles of Vitamin B6, a known nausea-reducer. To be honest, besides mild nausea lasting only a couple minutes, I hadn't had any morning sickness to speak of so far. Until today, that is.
The first problem is that I overslept yesterday. Like, didn't get up until after noon kind of overslept. So, this morning, at about 5AM, I woke up ready to face the day that hadn't technically arrived yet. I enjoyed snuggling with my husband until he got up for work at 7, then made him a cup of coffee and myself a cup of hot chocolate. I drank the cocoa and ate a banana and set to work editing. Half an hour later, I started feeling gassy. This is typical, but I wondered if, since my sinuses were bothering me, I should eat something else to make sure my stomach stayed happy. Too late. I made it to the kitchen, then tossed breakfast 1 and promptly set about eating breakfast 2, my typical half-bowl of granola cereal. Besides a case of the shakes, I felt much better. And that's it. No more nausea (so far, the day is still young) and no more trouble.
The moral of the story: steer clear of sweets, especially before eating grains and fiber. Minja rejects unhealthy breakfast beverages.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Minja's first doctor's visit
I have decided, after much consideration, to censor portions of what actually happened. If you are actually pregnant and want a rundown of what to expect at the first OB/midwife visit, hit me up in person or through a private message and I'll fill you in on the censored bits. I'm not shy about it, I'm just not sure the entire internet wants to know these things.
First, there were lots of questions. They actually asked more than I did, which made me feel much better about my page-long list I brought. Most of them were things I'd researched already, but wanted the facility's perspective. The biggest question I had actually had to do with raw milk, since we had recently been given some and I was hoping for a nice latte. She said that, to kill the bacteria that causes listeriosis, I at least needed to get the milk steaming. A steaming latte? I can handle that. No raw fish sushi for 9 months? That one will be more difficult.
So, they took basic things like ear temp, height, weight, medical history, blood pressure, heart rate, lung temp, 4 vials of blood, and various other stuff. Basically, it was a long physical. And the minja passed with flying colors! No diseases, no goofy issues, good development, all that.
But the cool part was definitely the ultrasound. They had screens so I could see what was going on and so could David. The tech was definitely 1 cup of coffee short of an aneurysm--he was very excited about his job, the technology, and getting to introduce us to our new little one! With no difficulty at all, he located the baby. One thing I wasn't expecting...he zoomed in and showed us the little heart fluttering away in our bean-sized baby. Then he turned up the doppler and there it was...the heartbeat, powerful and poignant, throbbing away as if to say, "I'm not just a part of you, though I am in you. I am my own person. I have my own DNA, my own heart, and it doesn't beat in sync with yours." The feeling was overwhelming.
So, the date is set for October 2nd. David and I did the math, and that makes this an anniversary baby. Interestingly, two years to the day, the two becoming one flesh created a new flesh as an expression of that love. This means that I was 7 weeks to the day when I had the appointment on Monday. This means that the minja is 5 weeks old.
In other news: no crazy outbursts to report yet! Only mild nausea, an aversion to strong smells and foods that have strong smells. Oh, and gassyness. Think "you just ate Mexican food" but it's like that all the time. Wake up...eating...not eating...it's all the same.
So far, so good! Let's see what week 8 has in store!
First, there were lots of questions. They actually asked more than I did, which made me feel much better about my page-long list I brought. Most of them were things I'd researched already, but wanted the facility's perspective. The biggest question I had actually had to do with raw milk, since we had recently been given some and I was hoping for a nice latte. She said that, to kill the bacteria that causes listeriosis, I at least needed to get the milk steaming. A steaming latte? I can handle that. No raw fish sushi for 9 months? That one will be more difficult.
So, they took basic things like ear temp, height, weight, medical history, blood pressure, heart rate, lung temp, 4 vials of blood, and various other stuff. Basically, it was a long physical. And the minja passed with flying colors! No diseases, no goofy issues, good development, all that.
But the cool part was definitely the ultrasound. They had screens so I could see what was going on and so could David. The tech was definitely 1 cup of coffee short of an aneurysm--he was very excited about his job, the technology, and getting to introduce us to our new little one! With no difficulty at all, he located the baby. One thing I wasn't expecting...he zoomed in and showed us the little heart fluttering away in our bean-sized baby. Then he turned up the doppler and there it was...the heartbeat, powerful and poignant, throbbing away as if to say, "I'm not just a part of you, though I am in you. I am my own person. I have my own DNA, my own heart, and it doesn't beat in sync with yours." The feeling was overwhelming.
So, the date is set for October 2nd. David and I did the math, and that makes this an anniversary baby. Interestingly, two years to the day, the two becoming one flesh created a new flesh as an expression of that love. This means that I was 7 weeks to the day when I had the appointment on Monday. This means that the minja is 5 weeks old.
In other news: no crazy outbursts to report yet! Only mild nausea, an aversion to strong smells and foods that have strong smells. Oh, and gassyness. Think "you just ate Mexican food" but it's like that all the time. Wake up...eating...not eating...it's all the same.
So far, so good! Let's see what week 8 has in store!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
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